This I Believe

NPR does a weekly series called "This I Believe," where people record a short essay that starts off with "I believe" and then fill in the rest. I decided I would do my own, written rather than oral, version of this.

I believe everyone should drive like me. I have long believed this, despite the fact my husband would argue the opposite (okay, so I did just get a speeding ticket [I will save that story for another blog]).

For one, I do not drive slow in the fast lane. I actually pass the person I intend to, and then get over. This also means that I do not slow down when I am passing someone on the interstate, nor do I hover next to the car I am passing, blocking all people behind me.

I do not slow down on an ACCELERATION ramp, nor do I come to a complete stop at the end of said ramp. I actually continually speed up until I merge with traffic.

I do not drive 10 or more miles under the speed limit, blocking all traffic behind me on a two lane road. Additionally, once I get to a place where there is a passing lane or just a place to pass, I do not suddenly speed up 20+ miles per hour (the other day I actually followed a car on a two lane road going 45 miles per hour. When we got to a passing lane, I ended up doing 90 to get around the car!).

I do not suddenly decide at an intersection that, while in the right turn lane, I want to go left, then cut across 3 lanes and 2 turn lanes of traffic to make the left turn.

I believe that certain traffic "phenomenon" are inevitable, no matter how much they annoy the crap out of me. These include:

1. Anyone who drives a small and/or old truck will drive incredibly slow.
2. Anyone who drives a large truck or suv will attemp to run over anyone who is in their
way.
3. The handicap sticker (I probably don't need to say more). The outcomes for this
encounter are bipolar: the driver is either a maniac or believes they are driving a
vehicle that goes no faster than a lawnmower. Ironically, this also goes for the
sports car
4. If it looks like a piece of crap, it will attempt to break all time-space continuum laws,
i.e. no windows, no worries.
5. The Lexus--the "I'm an overpriced, law abiding car. I will not go above the speed limit,
and you are stuck looking at my little Lexus symbol for mile after mile" (Okay, so I
have an odd aversion to the Lexus. I wonder if multiple would be Lexi?).

I could probably go on and on about the whole driving thing, but I'm getting a little sleepy. Anyway, if anyone has any of their own driving insights/complaints to add, feel free!