Lecture Time

Apparently, Jeremy got tired of my "unconventional" parking methods. When I got home from my conference, there was a bobber hanging from fishing line on my side of the garage. I was told that all I had to do was pull up so that it touched the windshield, and I would be nicely parked.

Just a few days ago, we're driving down the road, and Jeremy decides to discuss my parking problem. Frequently, I don't quite get all the way in the garage, and the door bends as it goes over the tire on the back of my Isuzu. I carefully explained to him that this was not my fault, as the garage is miniscule. I mean really, there's maybe 3 foot of space leftover once I park in it. So this parking problem is obvioulsy not my fault. Of course, I informed him of this fact.

For some reason, he decided to launch into a lecture about my driving skills. First, of course, there was the speeding ticket this summer. I can't help it. I don't like to go slow. I also didn't figure this was the best time to tell him that, while going nearly 70 the other day, a cop turned around and followed me (didn't pull me over, but I was a bit worried!). Then, he decides to critique my driveway problems. He is always irritated that, most of the time, when I'm pulling into the driveway, I drive over the grass. I'm not sure why he even bothers with this one anymore. I've always done this. It will never change. Well, it could, but then I'd have to pull into the driveway slowly. And this I explained to him. You see, I'm a very courteous driver, and I don't want to slow people behind me down. Therefore, I turn rather rapidly into the driveway, which means I drive over grass. I told him this and that there was an easy fix to this problem: just make the ends of the driveway flare out more. He simply looked at me and said "You give me a headache."

So we're driving along again, and I step on the accelerator to speed up. This leads to a brand new lecture about the way I stomp on the accelerator and gas effeciency. Setting him straight, I explained how this was not me, but actually the car. Fortunately for me, the car does need a major tune-up, so he willingly accepted this response and dropped the matter. Well, until he drove it himself a few days later and figured out that it was, in fact, me stomping on the accelerator to speed up. My response: "Well, that excuse worked for a little while."

Continuing our drive, something else came up. I'm sure it was something else he "felt" I was doing wrong (sigh, I have no idea where he comes up with all these ideas that I do things wrong). I made some comment, and he just looked at me. You know that "what the hell goes through your mind" look. So I asked him what the look was for. His response: "It's the same look I've been giving you since the day I met you." Hehe. I think it was better left unsaid that there would never be a need to retire that look.