My sick and twisted sense of humor

I was watching tv the other night, and this commercial came on for "Kids Bop 999" or something like that. Basically, it's a compilation cd of kids singing current top 40 (at least I assume they're top 40--haven't heard most of them before) songs. My thoughts were, if the songs were clean enough for kids to begin with, why not just compile them? What's the point of having kids sing their own version? Nevermind the fact it sounded horrid.

Then of course, my mind turned. Why not record a "Kids Bop Punk" album? Who could resist a chorus of sing-songy kids enchanting adults with such classic tunes as "I Wanna Be Sedated," by the Ramones, or "No Feelings" by the Sex Pistols. Sprinkle with a little Fugazi. Maybe throw in some more commercialized groups/songs like Green Day's "Longview." I say instant hit!

From there, we must do "Kids Bop Metal." This will include such classic metal as Danzig's "Twist of Cain," Slayer's "Season's in the Abyss," and Metallica's "Sanitarium." Of course, not wanting to forget the contemporary, we must throw in some Lincoln Park, Disturbed, and maybe a little Korn. The perfect stocking stuffer!

I realize this is going to create a sensation, so I'm making sure to get my patent/copyright (whatever it is you need to rerecord music with kids) in right now. Those of you who want to stay up to date with productions should definitely make sure you contact me asap--this is one phenomenon you don't want to miss out on!

Also, stay tuned for "Kids Bop Emo" later this year.